Lumen 21-8, 2.0

Can a Tourist Make Friends?

 Posted - September 18, 2021

Irrelevant tid bit – A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn’t know any women.

Some observations on being a tourist and making friends.

PERU

One of my first international birding trips was to the Amazon basin in Peru out of the city of Iquitos.  Iquitos is interesting in that it has a population of 500,000 but no road access.  Everything arrives by air or ship, which is one of many examples of how amazing the Amazon River is.  Iquitos is well beyond half way across South America yet ocean-going ships dock there.

We spent two weeks on a boat traveling the Amazon River and its tributaries, then returned for a night in Iquitos before flying out.  Everyone was put in double rooms in the hotel, except for one man in our group, who wanted a single room so he could hire a “woman of the night” after two weeks on the water.  OK, George, I don’t remember his name but George will do, is an adult who can do what he wants.  The next morning for some reason I was alone outside the hotel when I saw George and a woman come out to the street.  A man on a motor bike quickly arrived, the woman climbed on with no hesitation, and they drove off.  George said something to her but she did not reply and rode off without looking back.  He stood there with a “what-just-happened-here” look on his face.

George thought he had made a friend, or at least an acquaintance, but to her it was strictly a business transaction.

 

Another time, Another place.

NAMIBIA

Several years later I took a trip to five African countries with the tour company Roads Scholar, which I highly recommend – they were previously known as Elder Hostel.  The tour group was scheduled to spend an entire day in Botswana, but three of us made arrangements to go to Namibia in the afternoon.  Through a quirk of international boundaries, a finger of Namibia is located immediately across the  Zambezi River from where we were in Botswana.  We hired our own boat and driver, split off from the main tour group, and went to get the Namibia stamp on our passports and add another county to my list. (I know this is silly, but I do it anyway.)  When our small boat pulled up to the shore in Namibia a guide was waiting for us.  We did not really need a guide because the trip to the Namibian passport station only required a short walk uphill on a well-marked trail, but I understood that this was a way for local folks to make some money from tourists like me who were willing to spend some money just to get a passport stamp.  Our guide was a very nice young man who knew a lot about local history and even identified some birds for us.  After we got our passports stamped and returned to the boat, we paid the guide who walked a short distance away to talk to three local men.  As I got into our boat, I waved to him just to say “Thanks for your help”.  He totally ignored me.

 

I thought I had made a friend, or at least an acquantance, but to him it was strictly a business transaction. 

 

 

Another time, another place

ARKANSAS

Grocery shopping in Arkansas, I pull up to the checkout counter and put my items on the conveyor belt.  The highly competent, professional checkout clerk moves the items through the scanner as fast as I can get them on the belt.  We make some small talk about the weather, or traffic, or how busy the store is: nothing important, but friendly.  As soon as I have paid, the checker turns to another employee and talks to them, turning away from me as if I am no long there.

I thought I had made a friend, or at least an acquaintance, but to him it was strictly a business

Thompson Falls

transaction.

 

Another time, another place.

KENYA

During an excellent birding trip to Kenya, we stopped at a small local park containing beautiful Thompson Falls.  There we found two local Kikuyu dressed in traditional African native regalia who asked me to pay them to let me take their picture.  I thought this was a tourist rip off, but a travel companion wanted pictures, so I paid them.  They were very cooperative, hitting any pose we wanted, including the classic threatening pose with spear at the ready.  After the photo session they walked off a short distance, but soon came back to me saying how much the appreciated my business and wishing me a good trip in Africa. 

I did not make a friend or an acquaintance, but they did see me as a human, and not just a source of

Kikuyu

income.

 

 

Another time, another place

ZIMBABWE

In a break from birding all day every day, this part of the African Roads Scholar tour visited the genuine native village, Intabayengwe – genuine meaning that the village was not set up as a tourist attraction: this was the home of the people we saw living there with no electricity or running water.  When tourists appear, it seems to be mandatory to set up a few tables to sell jewelry and other local trinkets.  At one table a full bodied woman wearing a low cut dress was hawking her wares.  As I approached her table, she apparently wanted to show me a special piece of jewelry, so she stood up and leaned over,

Intabayengwe

putting her humongous boobs in my face.  This was too obvious, even for me.  I did not buy anything from her.

No friend, no acquaintance, no respect.

 

Same time, same place

Later in the same village a slender local woman danced for us, and she also wore a low cut dress, which

Intabayengwe Dancer

was contrary to the dress pattern of the other village woman.  At first, I thought this was just another tourist come on, although I admit that I did watch the entire dance.  Later I recognized that this is normal behavior for entertainers everywhere.  In the U.S. it is common for stage performers to wear skimpy outfits that make their song and dance routines more interesting and more entertaining.

There may be several lessons from this short story, but one certainly is - Attractive women are attractive: unattractive women are unattractive.